Pain and Pleasure

Talking to Danielle about the idea of a duality between pleasure and pain makes me wonder what it is about those two things that really intrigue me.  Even if I don't know I think these two things completely relate to most of the dreams and nightmares I've kept a log of.  it is really rare to have a completely happy dream and there is always some conflict throughout even if it is a good dream. Maybe what I'm dealing with is finding a focus for the general topics that I've been concentrating on.  Maybe dreams are a kind of personal pleasure and pain we conflict on ourselves or maybe it is pushed on us. I don't know, I need to consider this more.

In terms of the Jellyfish dress specifically I know that what I've produced so far is pretty fluffy, I'd say this as much as anyone else.  I think it needed to start in that place for me and after talking with Danielle I agree with her that maybe now it's about finding the darker side to this.  To quote her, "What makes jellyfish so fucking scary?" (yet still beautiful!)  I find this question is reall

y similar to my weird fascination with huge marine and other animals.  I like lo

oking up video clips of anacondas, giant squid and jellyfish, sharks, crocodiles fighting with leopards, 

haha it's kind of a weird thing I find really interesting but extremely terrifying at the same time.  I guess it's like scary movies for some people that like being frightened. 

A mass of Nomura Jellyfish in a harbor Japan - gross yet fascinating

A diver and a giant jellyfish!

Anyway, for the Jellyfish dress I really want it to show constriction and suffocation.  To me, these two things are closely related. I want this piece and my others to not only be a spectacle but to be compelling as well.  I guess I need to think more about what draws us to such interesting dualities such as mixing pleasure with pain.

Jellyfish!

I fell asleep in the middle of my last blog :).

So to continue on, a lot of what I was doing in my studio last week was researching fiber optics and electroluminescent wire online.  I am really in

terested in incorporating materials that will enhance the visual aesthetic of each look.  For the jellyfish dress I was really interested in the el wire especially because of the way it would read as jellyfish.  (based off images such as this one).

 I remember they were beautifully lavender, sea green, translucent and glowing.  In any case it took me a really long time to figure out which site to order from and what to get.  The wire comes in different gauges and colors but the hard part was figuring out the proper inverter and battery pack needed to get it to work.  I also got confused in some of the tutorials I found online because I definitely am not a technology person.  I finally ended up ordering some on Monday and I hope I got the proper tools to make it work!

In terms of fiber optics I'm interested in using those as well.  I came across this because I had a stroke of random thrift luck at Kiwanis last week. I went to look for fabric and clothing for my project as I have been doing and came across this lavender dress.  It was a size 4 so I thought the top may fit my roommate, plus there was a lot of fabric that I could use in my first look.  I took it home and my roommate tried it on.  It fit pretty well in the top and so I went to take out the lining and flipped it inside out.  As I looked between the lining and the bodice fabric I realized that the bodice of the dress is wired for fiber optics! On the tag it says "please remove battery attachment before cleaning".  Anyway I was really excited and was looking into ways to use fiber optics.  After talking to a few people who know more about these things than I do, I decided maybe to just order something cheap offline like a fiber optic wand and see if I can take it apart. I hope that I can get these things to work!

Aside from figuring out these other materials I want to use, I decided to create renderings of the looks I want to create.  I think so much like a costume design student now I think it will be helpful for me to have a rendering to build from.  I have many rough sketches of possible looks but it will be really beneficial to actually be able to reference them and have them once the garment is complete.  Here's the one for my jellyfish dress. This garment will convey the idea of feeling trapped by the jelly fish.  I think I want it to be more covered with the forms than it is because it doesn't have the right feeling.  Building these looks will be a really experimental process and I'm sure my ideas will change from my renderings to my actual wearables.

I bought bubble wrap this past weekend on a suggestion from one of my Costume Design professors to help fill out the jellyfish forms.  So far I'm liking it way they're looking and so now I'm in the process of mass producing jellyfish! Here are some pictures form my studio.

So far in IP...

The last two weeks has consisted of a few different goals in IP, mostly in the gathering of ideas and materials.  I think figuring out where to start has been the biggest challenge so far.  

Most of my work tends to develop through a process of gathe

ring and making things.  Once I start to get into the groove of creating a phys

ical project the ideas tend to evolve and change with the work.  Since I have a basic idea of what I want to accomplish for IP I think the most important thing is to start creating physical wo

rk 

to get a higher level of conversation happening.

Last week I was especially concerned with budgeting and what I would need to get started.  I've been writing notes down every time I think of something and my working list of Main Budget concerns is as follows:

Fabric and lining

Notions (elastic, zippers, snaps, buttons, hooks/eyes, boning, batting, thread, etc.)

Craft Items (to build 3D elements, head dresses, balloons, bubble wrap, flowers, feathers, etc.)

Electronic Equipment (El wire, Lily pad ardinuo?, LED, fiber optics, battery packs, inverters,etc.)

Makeup and Hair pieces (Body paint, fake eyelashes, stage makeup, hair/wigs?, etc.)

Shoes?

So while I might be getti

ng a bit ahead of myself, I think it's important to know what I'll need to acquire by the end of IP.  I also have been thinking about the show I want to achieve since I talked to Danielle about using the Duderstadt for my exhibition.  I have so far talked with friends, especially those with technical theatre backgrounds, about modeling, help with makeup, lighting, video project

ion, and music.  I can't wait until those things get under way and am completely excited by the thought of accomplishing my final show.  I want my project to really become a culmination to my time here and everything that I am most passionate about; theatre, art, and fashion.  I've chosen to address dreams, nightmares, and the subconscious to keep myself enthusiastic and ready to work throughout the year.  I want my work to feed the imagination and not only have a great visual impact but reflect the feeling or emotion of that particular dream

 or nightmare.  When talking with Michael a while ago in my studio I know we came across the thought that these wearables should definitely reflect the feeling of the dream in a physical way, therefore relating the mind (the dreams and 

nightmares) to the physical body.  

Here's a bit of my rambling notes I've randomly written down over the last few studio hours and couple of weeks (My thoughts on dreams and why they fascinate me):

:Being transported to a dreamlike state - when dreaming not having a grasp on reality/I can manipulate and control the materials in my garments like I cannot manipulate what happens to me in my dreams.  I can make a commentary on the things that happen in my dreams by manipulating things but maybe it is to gain a sense of control over what happens to me when I am dreaming. That dreamland is a mystery to me. To consider this strong dream imagery in a more developed way i want to transport myself and my audience/models to the place I was in my dream by creating thes

e garments.  It is something like revisiting the dream.  I like the idea of taking myself back to where I was in my mind during each dream to face the mystery and perhaps learn why I was there in the first place.  Each garment will possess the mood of the dream such as the one I want to start making - the jellyfish entrapment dress.  This particular dream was really memorable to me for some reason.  In the dream I was in the ocean, floating, with no land in sight and I was trapped physically by a swarm of jellyfish.  It was really scary because I 

literally couldn't move because of them but I remember they weren't stinging at all and were just very beautiful.  I find the id

ea of the beautiful prison or scary-beautiful really interesting."

Last week I was also playing around with inspirational music that would go

 along with my show.  I think music will be very instrumental (excuse my pun!) in the final show and is important for the final impact.  I am really excited about some potential songs I would like to mix including some from the Reqium for a Dream soundtrack (I love the Summer Overature), and classical such as Shostkovich, and Phillip Glass. 

This image to the left is a dyed mater

ial I was playing with in my studio.  I just lov

ed the way it looked and was warming up to getting started with some fun draping on my dress form.

These are some of my 

early sketches I've done for fun based off of specific dream imagery I've collected over the last few years.

I'll continue this another time...